Wizkid will be here in Houston, Tx with us this weekend. I have taken out the time to compile an analysis of the girl craze that will be associated with him as he performs somewhere in this big town tonight (Zanzibar, Houston). If you follow me on twitter (@freshboi111) you'll have seen this analysis already if you were on my TL at the time i was tweeting (or if you stalk my tweets you freaking stalker!!). For the benefit of those who do not follow me on twitter or those who don't pay attention to my tweets, I'll take the liberty of re-analyzing again.
Wizkid just landed in Houston a couple of hours ago. However, weeks or even months before his PROPOSED arrival, girls out here have been preparing for his coming (instead of them to be preparing for the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ). How do girls prepare for the coming of our Daddy Wizkee some might ask; simple:
1. Buy that gown at the Galleria Mall (the biggest shopping complex in the Houston area) that you've been saving up for for 2 years.
2. Practice ass shaking steps to catch Wizkid's eye
3. Cop butt pads, padded bras, push up bras and all other enhancing accessories.
4. Finally, form posh and ask for *water on the rocks* at the club (if you don't get the joke, don't worry, it's an inside joke for insiders *wink*)
That being said, I have a couple of words for girls planing to do all or either of these things before hitting Zanzibar tonight. Just like my twitter, I estimated that at least 500 girls will put one or all of the feats above to score the mighty Wizkid tonight. Of these 500 horny females, about 50 wont make it there maybe cause their parents found out at the last minute, their cars broke down, their hornier friends feel they pose a treat to their chances so they purposely forget to pick them up etc. whichever way, these poor 50 are already out at the first stage of the "Land Wizkid Competition"
Now, of the 450 remaining girls, about 150 are neither pretty nor sexy, these ones are automatically out of contention (please take no offence, every girl is pretty, some just wont fit in to the definition of pretty in Today's context).
That leaves about 300 girls/ladies/women/mothers. Of these 300, 200 won't be in VIP, they purchased regular tickets cause they used all the money to buy their dresses. Not being in VIP means Wizkid won't see them, so they're automatically out of contention, sorry girls, next time buy a cheap dress and VIP ticket.
This leaves 100 girls eh? Yeah. But see, this is the best/most complex part. 50 girls in VIP along with 50 girls with regular tickets will quickly realize that they can't quite score Wizkid so they'll sharply target his manager, upcoming artistes in the area, music video directors, producers and maybe some rich guys etc. These girls will be definitely out of the Wizkid Competition but they are winners in their own rights as they've scored consolation men for the night.
Finally, the 50 left in VIP are going to go to work. That's where pulling Wizkid, planting kisses all over his body, flashing boobs and all that ass whining practice come into play. But Wizkid is just one man, he'll probably only notice 2-5 girls, and those are the ones he'll probably carry home...OR NOT, he might be tired and want to sleep, or he might want to experience some American Pie type Blonde College GIRL, but we do NOT hope for that, do we?
Either way though, an awful lot, if not all the girls with the aim of wooing Wizkid tonight might come up short, but they might not, so my advice to y'all, let your work payoff, may the Biggest BOOBS win!!!!
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